3 Major Issues Teens Deal with in Today's World: From a Therapist

 

 

I own a private practice in South Florida and one of my specialties is working with teens and their relationships with their parents. Because of my work, I have encountered teens who are dealing with issues such as depression/bipolar disorder, self-harm/cutting, substance abuse, and symptoms from an experienced trauma. No matter what mental health issues a teen is dealing with, there are always common issues across the board. The top three issues I've seen arise the most are:

• Parents' Expectations: I often hear about the stress caused when parents put an overwhelming amount of pressure on their child to become what they want them to be. Whether that be emotionally, academically, etc. For example, a client of mine was having a hard time coping with emotions, and had turned to substances and cutting as emotional release. As our sessions went on, it became very clear that it was the pressure from her mother to be "perfect" and only show happy/positive emotions, that was holding this teen back the most. It was almost as if any disturbance in the parents' lives was an inconvenience for them. So she stuffed her emotions and hid them. Many teens I have worked with have expressed this problem, or some variation of it.
• Social Media Causes People to Compare Their Lives to Others: The constant display of wealth, material things, and "beauty" on social media sites - Instagram, Facebook, Snap Chat, etc - exposes teens to a barrage of images, constantly, at any time of day. The problem here is that teens are very visual, and very influenced by instant gratification. They want what they see. This can reinforce self esteem issues with regard to ideals of beauty, weight issues, envy re: finances, etc. Since their peers are constantly posting "exciting" things, they want to do the same. And often go to any lengths to be able to do so.
• Parents Don't Have Time to Be Consistent: In today's world, many parents have to work a lot, sometimes multiple jobs. Or they have multiple children to raise. Or they have a struggling marriage. Whatever the case, it leaves little time for parents to give the energy necessary to raise a teen. Without structure and consistency, teens feel insecure and their behavior can become hard to correct. When you are trying to correct them for not having chores done before going out with friends, it only helps when you consistently reinforce this rule. They also suffer when parents aren't able to give their full attention to what is going on with them; parents can miss signs that something is wrong, and teens may not ever admit anything on their own. If you don't have the time to pay attention to what your child's "base level" is, you won't know when there is something amiss.

These issues are not hopeless. We spend a lot of time in therapy discussing what strategies work for individual families, and how a family's issues can be addressed in a way that fits their unique family structure. What do you think? Can you see where these issues cause teens stress in today's world? What do you think can be done?

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com