Self-Nurturing as a Parenting Practice

The quote shown in the picture speaks to many parents and brings up the discussion of raising self-sufficient children. While it also discusses the boundary of what is considered too much indulgence or the line where actions can be considered as "spoiling" children, I want to focus on the part that mentions teaching. Many parents put a lot of effort into the actions they perform in the name of nurturing their children on a daily basis; some even consider sacrifice as the best parenting practice. Parents would do well to take caution in their behaviors, however, because while you may feel that tending to your children and ignoring your own needs is a good way to show children that they are important - you can actually be choosing behaviors that are counteracting your intentions.

Your Partner is Not (Solely) Responsible for Meeting Your Needs

Around the time in my career when I began to gain more experience working with couples, I put a status on my social media page that read: "Another person or a relationship is not supposed to meet your needs. You're supposed to get your needs met through your inner self and your spiritual life. Once you learn to lean on those things as a primary source, then everything another person does is just the cherry on top. If people could figure that out, I think relationships would be way less stressful because we wouldn't be so hard on each other."

By working with couples, I noticed a pattern when it came to the lack of relationship satisfaction

Using Rituals as Ways of Symbolically Letting Go

When dealing with deep issues from the past, a great deal of the work in therapy involves coping with what has happened and finding ways of moving forward. As you are dealing with your emotions, it can be helpful to find creative ways of letting go. Over the years, I have worked with clients who have found many ways of doing just that. Here are a few examples:

Respite Care - A Break for Families with Special Needs

Working with parents of children with disabilities made something very clear - too often self-nurturing takes a backseat to the needs and care of the children. Since our children deserve the best, it's to be expected that we give them our all, right? Wrong. The best gift you can give to your family is the BEST version of you. This means self-care has to be a priority. Proper sleep, health, and stress management for yourself should be just as important as the care you give your children.

For families with a disabled family member -  for example developmental disabilities such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or Autism Spectrum Disorder - this can be a challenging task. Resources and support are important in this case. Working with families I've found that most families are not aware of Respite Care.

Meditation and Mindfulness for Mental Health

Meditation and Mindfulness are practices that are highly recommended for anyone struggling with anxiety or depression symptoms. The depression you may feel can come from past trauma, a symptom of bipolar disorder, and/or a range of other issues. Meditation gets your mind focused on the here and now; if you are depressed, chances are you are too focused on the past, and if you are anxious, chances are you are focused on future worries. Allow even 30 minutes in your day to clear your mind of these issues and you will see your stress - and therefore anxiety and depression symptoms - alleviate over time.

Some good tips for beginners:

CST Book Recommendation: 72 Hour Hold

"72 Hour Hold" is one of my favorite suggestions for clients when are dealing with issues surrounding mental illness. I believe in using every aspect of our lives in a way that is therapeutic - books and movies we use for entertainment, leisure time, meditation, etc.
This book, "72 Hour Hold" by Bebe Moore Campbell is
a great story about a mother dealing with the struggles of parenting her bi-polar daughter. I used passages from the book with a client of mine - a mother with the same issue - and it made a huge impact! It's an older book, but definitely a great read.

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

Baby Steps..