Using Rituals as Ways of Symbolically Letting Go

When dealing with deep issues from the past, a great deal of the work in therapy involves coping with what has happened and finding ways of moving forward. As you are dealing with your emotions, it can be helpful to find creative ways of letting go. Over the years, I have worked with clients who have found many ways of doing just that. Here are a few examples:

• A teenage girl lost a friend to suicide; one way she found solace was to come up with new ways of commemorating her friend's life every year on the anniversary of their death. One of her commemorations included writing notes to her friend, putting them in a balloon, and filing it with helium so she could send it up to the sky for her friend
• Several clients found it helpful to write letters to those who have hurt them - whether strangers or close friends/family members, dead or alive - to get out all their emotions. They either burn, bury, or shred the letters to let go
• A man letting go of an unhealthy romantic relationship gathered all the pictures they had taken together - even printing photos from online or from his phone - and burned the pictures
• A woman who had gone through many years of domestic violence found her bedroom to be heavy, dark, and holding too many negative memories. It helped her to rearrange the furniture in her bedroom and paint the room a bright color

Remember, different methods work for different people. As long as you are combining therapy with your ritual, you are taking care of yourself and down the path towards a future without the baggage of the past.

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com