Is My Relationship Healthy? Recognizing a Toxic Relationship and What to Do About It

Oftentimes clients come to therapy because they have choices to make. Something does not feel right in their life, and they needs the time and space to figure out what to do about it - and sometimes IF there is even something that needs to be done.

A common question I have seen clients deal with is: "Is my relationship healthy?" There is a line that separates normal relationship ups and downs from behaviors that are damaging and unhealthy. How can you assess where your relationship falls?

In determining this, here are a few things to think about (and remember, these points are valid in any relationship. Romantic relationships are not the only types of relationships that can be toxic):

• Take a look at your everyday life, and weigh out if the relationship is draining you of energy or resources. You should be receiving more energy from your relationship than you are exerting.
• When it comes to your private life, take an honest assessment of the things you are doing "in the name of love." Are you doing things you are uncomfortable with admitting to? Can you readily admit to your actions to the people who know you best and care for you? This can be a red flag because love should not humiliate us.
• Look at your future goals and aspirations. If you are not pursuing something you want in life (a job, a move, another friendship/relationship) because it threatens the relationship in question, then this is a sign that something is very wrong. Healthy relationships allow for growth

If you notice that you are in a relationship that you need to disconnect from, it can be hard to break out of old habits. Here a few suggestions for creating positive change:

Featured on the TV Show Fatal Attraction on TV One!

A few pictures from this weekend shooting for the show, Fatal Attraction - TV One 

I flew to the Midwest to give commentary on a very interesting murder case, from a therapist's perspective. It was a great experience! It was a quick trip, but I enjoyed speaking on the relationship dynamics of the people involved in the case - very explosive things come into play when there are unhealthy behaviors, betrayal, dishonesty, and jealousy. 

I can't say much more than that for now. The episode will likely air this Fall, I will keep you posted!! 

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

CST Book Recommendation: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I always suggest books, movies, and activities to clients as a supplement to therapy. They are a great way for clients to solidify and continue the changes we are discussing in session. This book has been a GREAT tool for clients. It is by one of my favorite self-help/therapy topic authors, Lundy Bancroft - along with JAC Patrissi. When I looked it up on Amazon to make the suggestion, I found the perfect synopsis -  the authors "offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward-with or without their partners.

Women involved in chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationships will learn to:

-Tell the difference between a healthy-yet-difficult relationship and one that is really not working

- Recognize the signs that their partner has a serious problem

- Stop waiting to see what happens-and make their own growth the top priority

- Prepare for life without their partner-even as they keep trying to make the relationship work" 

I suggest keeping a journal while reading books, especially one this thought-provoking and engaging. If anyone has read this book, or plans to, I would love to hear about it!

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

Our City Plantation Ad for Individual, Couples, and Family Therapy

Have you seen our ad in the March 2015 edition of the Our City Plantation magazine? If you didn't receive a copy at your home, you can check it out online at www.ourcityplantation.com - after March 31st, look in the Past Issues for "March 2015."

Contact me at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com or www.csolutionstherapy.com for Communication Issues in your relationships, Parent-Teen relationship issues, and individual therapy!

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