CST Recommendation: Film, "Depression: Out of the Shadows"

During my time working at an inpatient treatment facility for substance-using teens, I spent a lot of time looking for videos to show them. One particular day, I found this film at a local library, "Depression: Out of the Shadows" and I was so happy I did! It's a very informative film, but despite its educational format, most of the teens were glued to the screen.

CST Book Recommendation: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I always suggest books, movies, and activities to clients as a supplement to therapy. They are a great way for clients to solidify and continue the changes we are discussing in session. This book has been a GREAT tool for clients. It is by one of my favorite self-help/therapy topic authors, Lundy Bancroft - along with JAC Patrissi. When I looked it up on Amazon to make the suggestion, I found the perfect synopsis -  the authors "offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward-with or without their partners.

Women involved in chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationships will learn to:

-Tell the difference between a healthy-yet-difficult relationship and one that is really not working

- Recognize the signs that their partner has a serious problem

- Stop waiting to see what happens-and make their own growth the top priority

- Prepare for life without their partner-even as they keep trying to make the relationship work" 

I suggest keeping a journal while reading books, especially one this thought-provoking and engaging. If anyone has read this book, or plans to, I would love to hear about it!

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

Be Curious About Their Hobbies!

A little morning humor, but still a good message. Magic is a card game, a pretty involved one with tournaments, judges, online content, a storyline, etc. One of the most effective things that I do as a therapist is actually very simple: Being Curious. I ask questions about what my clients are interested in, I connect it with what I may already know about it, and even look up more to be better informed. Showing respect for your child's interests/hobbies is one of the best ways to connect with your growing teen. They're starting to form their own identity and you want to be sure you get "in" during the beginning stages of that. Parents always tell me they feel as if they don't know their child or that they're child "isn't being the person they used to be" - being curious is how you prevent that. [And like the picture says, cultivating these hobbies can provide them many alternatives to drug and alcohol abuse. The more options, the better]

What are some things you learned from your child? What interests have they introduced you to?

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

What Do You Give Your Child To Choose Instead of Drugs?

Notice all the choices shown? Parents, if you expect your teen to make better choices than using drugs/alcohol, you should take responsibility by GIVING THEM THESE CHOICES. Does your teen have any athletic involvement? Have you signed them up for a music/Art/photography class? Do you know what their hobbies are and support them? What are the things your family participates in, as a unit, on a weekly basis?

If you can't provide these answers, then how do you expect your child to pull tools from an empty toolbox? 

All this week, 2/23/15-2/27/15, I will be focusing on providing information focused on the Parent-Teen relationship. Check back everyday for my posts, comment your thoughts, share them to others, and check back other weeks for a focus on many different therapy-related issues.

 

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

Nakya Reeves, LMFT featured in article for Celebrity Parents Magazine Online! How to Make Sure to Have Date Night

 

I was recently featured in an article in Celebrity Parents Magazine online! Click here to see the article at Celebrity Parents . The article is a great read for busy parents who are looking to reconnect and keep their relationship a priority - all while balancing children, work, family, and love. This can be tough! With Valentine's Day coming up, it is nice to take some time and reflect on what you can be doing to keep your status as a COUPLE, in addition to your role as parents. Check out the article and comment your thoughts!

 



- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with communication issues within relationships. I also offer PhotoTherapy, which integrates photography as a therapy method. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com - visit my website www.csolutionstherapy.com

Parents - What if You Could Set Your Phone to: Call Me if the Liquor Cabinet Opens?

#CSTrecommendation for Parents - Apps that help you monitor your home!

Technology is amazing. There's an app for just about everything, whether useful or completely pointless but entertaining. Every once in a while, there's something I see that grabs my attention and I think, "This would be great for a client!" 

Feature in Article for Woman's Day Magazine - "9 Things You Should Never Ask of Your Husband"

I was recently interviewed for an article appearing on WomansDay.com! The article deals with expectations in a marriage, and ways we can balance these expectations with the conflicts that arise in a relationship. Myself, and other professionals weigh in on this topic and share some advice from a mental health/therapy perspective.  See the Article Here On Woman's Day - and I will also provide a little information here!

The 9 Things Are:
1. To choose between you and his mother
2. To listen to you like a female friend would
3. To never notice another woman
4. To give up his passions, whether professional or personal
5. To be a different man
6. To stop seeing his friends
7. To remember every moment in your relationship that was special to you
8. To share all of your interests
9. To be the bigger person when you're acting childish

Here are examples from two of the places I am quoted (but I encourage you to read the entire article! Very constructive advice):

It's natural to occasionally wonder why did I marry this person? after many years together. But remember that a trait you loathe in your husband may be the flip-side of one you love, says South Florida–based licensed marriage and family therapist Nakya Reeves. Say your spontaneous husband has trouble staying on schedule. Reeves suggests picking your battles: You may really need him to pick the kids up on time, but let his habit of being late for dinner go.

As for the truly crucial tasks, "explain to him where the duty fits in for the family's overall plan for the day; then, discuss your responsibilities," Reeves advises. "That way, he feels like he’s a part of the decision to take accountability for picking up the children, rather than simply feeling he’s being nagged."

Giving silent treatment and withholding affection (especially sex) in order to get your way is juvenile and counterintuitive: Instead of reacting to you, your husband will likely retreat. Being passive-aggressive “is one of the most destructive forms of relationship communication— it creates a negative cycle that only gets worse and creates anger and resentment," Reeves explains.

If you feel like your husband owes you an apology, don't make your feelings sound less important than they are (passive), and don't attack him (aggressive)," Reeves says. "Instead, be assertive with an "I statement"—"I feel hurt when you ignore me because it makes me feel like you’re not taking into consideration what I have to say. I feel I deserve an apology for the way you dismissed me yesterday at dinner; next time, could you please acknowledge me?"

 

 

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

Homework Assignments in Therapy

To get the most out of therapy: Do your homework!! Hearing helpful information and making thoughtful breakthroughs only go so far as your ACTIONS. Make sure to work in between sessions & get the most out of your experience 

- written by Nakya Reeves, LMFT. I am a therapist and owner of a private practice where my main focus is working with families on communication issues, especially the parent-teen relationship. I also utilize PhotoTherapy techniques in my practice, which integrates bringing in photos that the client has taken or collected as a part of the therapy process. I can be contacted any time at csolutionstherapy@gmail.com

CST Book Recommendation: The Anatomy of Peace

"The Anatomy of Peace" - by: The Arbinger Institute. 

I am forever grateful to have come across this book. It is an amazing resource for anyone on the topics of Communication and Conflict Resolution. Communication is one of my areas of specialty & I truly believe this is one of the best tools a client can utilize. I love the approach the authors have taken to address some pretty important communication skills. The book reads like a novel - has characters, a plot, interesting chapters, even a bit of humor - which makes it really easy to read. Clients actually want to finish this book; they are able to pick up tips and tools while simultaneously being entertained. 

 

The story begins with a very common & relatable communication issue - parents dealing with a challenging adolescent - and leads to many great places, including analyzing the mistakes we often make as co-workers, peers, spouses, friends, and even high powered executives & business partners.